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North Korea becomes Islamic State:
Kim Jong-un makes Islam official state religion

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North Korea announced today that it is now an Islamic state. Its official name will be changed from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to the Islamic People’s Republic of Korea.

According to its official news agency KCNA (North Korean Central News Agency), North Korean leader Kim Jong-un made Islam the official state religion after receiving a revelation from Allah.

In a public announcement, the young leader claimed that the Angel Gabriel appeared to him last night and delivered the words of Allah. Gabriel praised Kim for declaring nuclear war against South Korea and especially the United States, since American imperialism is the enemy of all Islamic nations. The angel also added that North Korea will emerge victorious if Kim Jong-un reveals that it had been an Islamic state since the beginning and officially makes Islam the state religion.

Regarding this, Kim Jong-un explained that Communism was in fact a cover-up to better survive the Cold War. The proof is that North Korea still maintained the central values of Islam, such as modest clothing, persecuting Christians, and forbidding women from riding bicycles. Then he made the startling revelation that every previous leaders of North Korea (Kim Jong-un’s grandfather Kim Il-sung, and father Kim Jong-il) were actually Muslim prophets, and so is Kim Jong-un himself.

He concluded the speech with “Muslim brothers of the world, Allah has sent me to lead you. Let us unite in the jihad against America!”

The announcement was met with mixed responses.

Analysts say the announcement is (as usual) aimed at drawing Washington’s attention and potential talks (=food), as well as boosting morale for the North Korean people. What is unique is the degree of extreme desperation for U.S. attention in attempting to exploit Islamophobia. They also added: “they probably thought the prophet part was necessary in maintaining the authority and divinity of their leaders.”

Meanwhile, Islamic leaders were highly offended by Kim Jong-un’s announcement. An imam said, “Islam is a religion of peace, and no God doesn’t agree with nuclear war or antagonizing the United States.” He also added that “Kim Jong-un has no basic understanding of Islam. Mohammad is the LAST PROPHET you twat.” before going on to demonstrate at the nearest North Korean embassy.

Al-Qaeda called the announcement “blasphemous,” Kim Jong-un a “heretic,” and declared jihad against North Korea.

 

ps. Happy April Fool’s, everyone!:)